The One That Got Away

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This is for the one that got away
You left before the apology
But I was the idiot whose pride
Was too big to swallow
But light enough not to drag my feet
As I walked away

You are the memories
I wish that never happened
But I will twist my sanity
If I ever forgot them
You were the happiness
I took for granted
The pain that turned me
Into a masochistic Mess

Whenever someone says your name
Because if they mention you
I will ask how you are
When I can’t ask you myself
And then I’ll spend days
On your Facebook wall
I’ll clear my browser history
To hide the fact I am missing you
Or use incognito mode
Because I am in denial of my own faults

If they ask me why you left
I have a script prepared
Spitting clichéd bullshit
Hoping they’d believe it
They do unless they ask you
I know you call me your biggest mistake
I’ve seen your tweets
They are aimed right at me

We are each other’s regrets
With different perspectives
You wish you’ve never met me
I wish you’re still here with me
You wish I said the words you needed to hear
I wish I can rewrite our conversations
Change everything I ever said
Because you ended up looking somewhere else

You wish you never fallen
And I wish you still were
This is for the one that got away
I miss you
Thank you for breaking my heart
Now we’re even
But yours healed
And mine is trying
To beat without you

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