The last thing you want when you’re scrolling through a cute guy’s Facebook profile is to accidentally like something from five to six year ago -fuck it happened to me. Sadly, I didn’t realize it in time instead I got a message from said guy thanking me for liking his old profile picture.
I was mad at myself for 15 minutes because I had no excuse. How do you explain that you were on his profile because you thought he was cute? Especially when you don’t even know him that well!
I apologized then we ended up chatting about how small our town was. I wish I can twist this into a tale about how accidentally liking an old Facebook picture lead to a happily ever after but this was not a romantic comedy. It’s 2018, I rarely see any romantic comedies -though you have to admit this might make a good premise for one. No, I ended up learning a very valuable lesson from this experience; being more upfront with my feelings and to scroll on the sides.
Filling in the blanks with my imagination
A lot of us fantasize about the people we like. We create this movie in our heads of how the romance is played out but it never actually happens. Once, I spent days wondering what my crush’s favorite movie was when I could’ve just asked him. If only I had more real conversations than filling in blanks with my imagination.
The reason I was scrolling this cute guy’s Facebook was that I had been crushing on him for months. It would’ve been so much easier to click the “Ask Relationship Status” on Facebook rather than be caught looking through old pictures because my finger slipped.
I was a coward waiting and hopelessly waiting he’d ask me out on a date. I was so afraid of rejection and because of this, I missed out on a lot of people.
When we were chatting after the incident everything suddenly felt easy. It could have been this way for months rather than secretly pining for him. We could’ve been talking about favorite bands, movies, and how sucky high school was compared to college.
Putting Myself Out There Even Though It Fucking Hurts
When I was 18, I never asked anyone out. I’d either wait to get asked out or reject one because it’s not from a person I liked. My teenage dating life was mostly dodging and waiting for someone to pick up my signals. Then the Facebook incident happened, I was so worried he would think I was a creep because I had a thing for him but he was okay with it. Since then, I tried to be more upfront about my feelings.
The first few times were just me overtly flirting hoping they’d get the clue when finally I asked someone out. The first time was the hardest and the most painful. I stumbled through it and she rejected me. Sure it shattered a tiny bit of my self-esteem but there was also a burden taken off of my shoulders. I felt lighter because I didn’t have to spend the next three months obsessing over a crush.
Dating is hard so let’s try to make it easy
The dating process is already a hard game to play, it’s always a miss or hit. So after my first rejection, I did not stop there. Sure there was a lot of rejection but I also didn’t miss out on people who might or might not be good for me. Asking people out and being more upfront about how I felt helped me filter the dating field.
I asked my boyfriend out and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. So go out there and tell whoever it is how you feel. It could be a yes or it could be a no, you’ll never know if you silently wait -in case it’s a no there’s always another chance somewhere.
P.S. Cupid you’re still a jerk and even more of an asshole in the digital age. But you have your moments.
Dear Juliet 